The Confidence Connection: Physical Self-Care and Mental Wellbeing

Over the past few years, I’ve had the profound privilege of working with several clients undergoing cancer treatment who were in their final stages. Some of them have since passed away. And I’ll be honest - the first time a client came to me knowing her prognosis was terminal, I felt awkward.

She wanted her eyebrows done. She wanted to look like herself again. And a small voice in my head whispered: Should she really be spending her limited time and money on this? Don’t other things matter more when health isn’t certain? Am I actually helping this person?

But then I watched her look in the mirror after our appointment. The way her face softened. The way she smiled at her own reflection. The way she sat a little straighter as she left my studio.

I thought about my own mom, who used to get her nails done (by the most wonderful nail tech Bella!) while she was sick with cancer.

What I’ve learned and continue to be reminded of, from psychology courses in undergrad to 15 years of working closely with people through wedding planning, the career and leadership coaching world, and now the beauty industry, is that I had the wrong perspective entirely. Physical self-care during difficult times isn’t frivolous. For many people, it’s a lifeline to their sense of self when everything else feels out of control.

The Science Behind the Connection

Research in embodied cognition shows that our physical state directly influences our mental and emotional states. When we take care of our physical appearance in healthy ways, our brains receive signals that impact our self-perception, confidence, and even stress levels.

A study published in the Journal of Social Psychology found that grooming behaviours are significantly linked to psychological wellbeing, self-esteem, and reduced anxiety. For people undergoing cancer treatment specifically, research shows that appearance-related interventions measurably improve quality of life and mental health outcomes.

There’s even economic evidence! During recessions and economic downturns, the beauty industry consistently shows resilience. Consumer spending on beauty products and services actually increases when times are tough. This isn’t about vanity. It’s about people instinctively reaching for accessible forms of self-care that provide psychological comfort during uncertain times.

When we’re facing challenges - whether economic stress, health crises, or major life transitions - small acts of self-care become anchors. They’re ways of telling ourselves, “I still matter. I’m still here. I’m still me.”

What I’ve Witnessed Across 15 Years and Three Careers

My professional journey has given me a unique perspective on this connection.

As a wedding planner 15 years ago, I watched how feeling beautiful wasn’t (just!) about impressing others - it was about brides feeling confident and fully present for one of life’s biggest moments.

In the career and leadership coaching industry 10 years ago, I saw professionals preparing for interviews and promotions and keynotes and transitions. When folks felt “put together,” they walked into rooms differently. They spoke with more authority. The external change created an internal shift. This was especially true for women.

Within the mastermind group that I run, I work with entrepreneurs who are building companies while trying to maintain balance and personal identity. For the past five years as a microblading artist, I’ve worked with busy moms (I’m one myself) juggling careers and households. And sometimes I have the privilege of working with clients undergoing cancer treatment who’ve lost their eyebrows - women whose experiences have taught me more about courage than I ever could have imagined.

A common thread? Taking control of one physical aspect helps people feel more in control emotionally. It’s not about perfection. It’s about recognizing yourself in the mirror.

Why My Discomfort Was Misplaced

Those early feelings of discomfort came from not understanding what was actually happening in those appointments.

My clients weren’t being vain. They were fighting to hold onto their identity in the face of a disease trying to strip it away.

When you lose your hair, your eyebrows, your eyelashes, when your body changes in ways you can’t control, looking in the mirror can become painful. For many of my clients undergoing cancer treatment, restoring their eyebrows isn’t about conventional beauty. It’s about seeing a familiar face. It’s about feeling like themselves instead of “a patient.”

My mom understood this when she got her nails done. It was an act of defiance. A way of saying, “This disease doesn’t get to take everything from me.”

During times of crisis, these small acts aren’t distractions from what matters—they’re part of what gives people strength to face what matters. There’s no vanity in wanting to recognize yourself. There’s only courage.

A Common Thread

Over time, I’ve realized that many of the same emotions my clients with cancer experience are shared by others who lose their brows for entirely different reasons.

Some of my clients live with alopecia, an autoimmune condition that causes unpredictable hair loss, sometimes overnight. Others experience thinning or loss due to thyroid disorders, where hormonal imbalances quietly change their appearance. Some struggle with trichotillomania. And then there are those navigating postpartum or perimenopausal changes, PCOS, or medication side effects that affect hair growth. Even chronic stress and nutritional deficiencies can take a toll, as can friction from pillows, hats, and PPE.

The causes are different, but the emotional impact is often the same. When your reflection changes in a way you didn’t choose, it can shake your sense of identity. For many, microblading becomes more than a cosmetic treatment - it’s a quiet act of restoration, a way to feel whole again.

The Mental Load Women Carry

In my mastermind group of female entrepreneurs, we often talk about the invisible labour of being a woman in business and life. There’s the actual work, but also the constant mental load: decisions, planning, emotional labour, the expectation to “have it all together.”

Embedded in that load is the daily burden of appearance management. Research on decision fatigue shows that every choice depletes our mental resources, leaving less energy for decisions that really matter.

As a mom to daughters and stepdaughters, I think about what I’m modeling. Strategic self-care can actually reduce the mental burden. When you simplify even one aspect of your routine - permanent makeup, a capsule wardrobe, consistent skincare - you free up mental space.

That’s not laziness. That’s wisdom.

When Self-Care Becomes Self-Compassion

Over time, I've started to intentionally differentiate between self-care that nurtures and self-care that depletes.

Healthy self-care asks, “What do I need to feel like myself?” It’s about honouring who you are. Self-compassion significantly improves mental health, resilience, and overall wellbeing.

Unhealthy self-care asks, “What’s wrong with me that I need to fix?” It’s driven by comparison and perfectionism.

When clients undergoing cancer treatment come to see me, they’re not trying to look like someone else - they want to look like themselves again. When busy moms or entrepreneurs sit in my chair, they’re not chasing perfection. They’re seeking simplification and self-recognition.

How we invest in ourselves sends powerful messages. When we make time for self-care, we’re saying, “I’m worth it.”

For entrepreneurs, that message is essential. You can’t build a sustainable business running on fumes.

For people undergoing cancer treatment, that message is revolutionary. After months of your body feeling like a battleground, reclaiming small pieces of autonomy is profound.

For busy moms, that message is permission - to take up space, to matter beyond your caregiving roles.

Conclusion

If you’re navigating hair loss whether from cancer, alopecia, thyroid changes, trichotillomania, or another condition - know that you’re not alone. The emotions that come with losing a visible part of yourself are real and deeply human.

Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. Sometimes, it begins with a small, gentle choice: to see yourself again, to soften toward your reflection, to let a bit of normalcy return. For many of my clients, microblading isn’t just about brows. It’s about belonging to themselves again.

I think back to those clients who came to me in their final months: women who chose to spend some of their precious time in my chair. At first, I questioned whether that was the right choice.

But I was asking the wrong question. It was never about beauty as vanity. It was about identity. Dignity. The fundamental human need to feel like yourself, especially when so much has been taken from you.

After 15 years of helping people through weddings, career and leadership transitions, health challenges, and building businesses and families, the lesson is clear: caring about your appearance and caring about your mental health aren’t separate. They’re deeply connected.

The key is approaching that connection with compassion, not criticism. With intention, not obsession.

So I’ll ask you: What’s one small way you could reduce your mental load through intentional self-care? What would it feel like to simplify one aspect of your routine so you have more energy for what truly matters?

You deserve to feel at home in your own skin. You deserve to recognize yourself in the mirror.

That’s not vanity. That’s wisdom. That’s self-compassion. And that’s something worth investing in.

-xo Brit

About the Author

Brit Wynne-Jones is the owner of award nominated Just Browsing Microblading Studio in Ottawa, where she helps women reclaim confidence through natural, realistic brow artistry. With 15 years of experience spanning wedding planning, career coaching, and beauty, Brit is passionate about the psychology of self-perception and the power of intentional self-care. 

If you’d like to explore how microblading might simplify your routine, I offer free consultations. Whether you’re a busy professional, a mom juggling it all, or someone navigating health challenges, I’m here to help you feel like yourself again.